I heard a story once about a man who went to visit Niels Bohr at his country-town home. When the man arrived, he was shocked to see a horse-shoe above the door. Being a scientist, the man disapproved of this practice and told Bohr that he did not share the superstitious belief that horse-shoes kept evil spirits away. Unaffected, Bohr responded:
“Oh, I don’t believe in it either. I have it there because I was told that it works even if one does not believe in it.”
I feel similarly, or perhaps reversely, when it comes to personality profiles.
Most have been debunked, abused, or proven to have dubious origins. There has never been, nor ever will be, sixteen personalities, twelve archetypes, nine types, or five traits capable of underwriting the human spirit. As far as I am concerned, there are over eight billion people on this planet, which means there are over eight billion empires of mind, experience, and soul to explore. Anything that says otherwise, I feel, is reductive.
Symptoms Of Belief
Indeed, if my stance on these tests can be summed up, it is in this way: personality tests can be useful, provided that you don’t believe them. Yet the signs that someone has started to believe in them are plenty and all-too-common. Here are some symptoms to watch out for:
- When you start excluding people as possible employees, friends, or romantic partners because the framework says you’re not compatible.
- When your capacity to be surprised is replaced with prepackaged knowledge about a person’s “type.”
- When you become pessimistic about yours, or another person’s, ability to change or deviate from their descriptors.
- When you begin having some variation of this conversation with folks:
You: Oh, you’re a [fill in an xyz personality type]! I can totally see that.
Them: Yaaassss, but I don’t think that [xyz attribute] applies to me.
You: What’s wrong with being [xyz attribute]?
Them: Nothing is wrong with it. I’m just not like that.
You: LOL! You’re only saying that because you’re a [xyz personality type]! That’s such a [xyz personality type] thing to say!!
Them: Oh, aha, I guess…
If your paradigm doesn’t leave room for astonishment, you’re no longer being faithful to reality.
First Wide, Then Narrow
That being said, I can’t pretend that I don’t find these tools entertaining. Fun, even. I like being asked questions I’ve never thought about, getting introduced to concepts I’ve never heard of, then getting equipped with new language to describe the contours of my interior world. This is especially true of astrology, which is the silliest, wildest, most woo-woo theory that I adamantly disavow but simultaneously talk about on a weekly basis. There is only one person who I have ever felt is a true match to their Zodiac sign and everyone else’s has been murky at best. The problem is… that one person is me. But I digress!
When you first step into this universe of personality profiles, it can feel like it widens your perspective, giving you new insights into people, personalities, and the self. The first thing you do is go home and share it with your partner, your friends, or your family. Everybody takes the quiz and you all talk about each other’s quirks, fears, and strengths, laughing (or crying) at the results. In my estimation, this is where these tests shine— at the specious level, facilitating conversation and cultivating curiosity about the other. When done right, they can be real tools for conviviality.
Yet, this rabbit hole is almond-shaped. The first few steps are widening, the next many are constricting. The further you go, the smaller the world gets, until all you see, speak, and do is the framework. The perspective that at first was being widened gets narrower and narrower. But by the time you’re that far, you’re already addicted.
Xanax For The Soul
And, as best as I can tell, the addictive part is the certainty. It’s the feeling of control that accompanies a worldview which gets to be perpetually neat, tidy, and predictable. In personality-profile land, everyone has a number. Everyone has a type. There is an answer for why everyone is the way that they are, what job is right for them, and what kind of person they should make love to. Whether or not they’re actually happier is immaterial— we live in a world where explanation is often substituted for experience. We forget— to use Korzybski’s phrase— that the map is not the territory.
Indeed, the power of explanation is a key part of this— it’s a force that we don’t talk about enough. A handbook of pre-vetted language that helps you articulate everything from personality, to trauma, to financial considerations is like Xanax for an anxious soul. Mr. Rogers used to say that whatever is mentionable is manageable and there are countless fairytales about creatures who gain power by learning the true names of other people. The moral is that there is power in articulation, both good and bad. The trick is in allowing that articulation to open inquiry rather than close it.
This is an ancient tension, to be sure. The oracle at Delphi encouraged individuals to know thyself, but that meant developing an awareness of one’s limits and ignorances, as well as your strengths and competencies. Yet, modern personality theories seek omniscience with no regard for mystery or boundaries.
This creates a dearth of our most sublime emotions, such as reverence, wonder, or awe. This same unrestricted spirit has possessed and multiplied within the ecosystem of LLMs, and practically everything that has been stated about personality tools in this post can be extended in some form to AI. I think often of this quote from Chesterton, who puts it wittily:
“To accept everything is an exercise, to understand everything a strain. The poet only desires exaltation and expansion, a world to stretch himself in. The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it is his head that splits.” — GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy
So, Why Post Mine?
So, the question is, if I don’t believe in personality profiles, why am I publicly disclosing all the results from every test I’ve ever taken? The short answer is that it’s funny. The thought of doing so made me laugh, and that was enough.
The slightly longer answer is that I want this to be a launch pad for discussion. I want my friends to know me better and, perhaps, open up conversation that enriches our relationship. Also, I would like to challenge these labels.
I do not believe that there is any test, computer, or tool that could ever comprehend the infinite potential that resides within the human spirit. I don’t like the thought that I could ever become completely predictable or that I would ever stop growing. I think I could take all the tests in the world, show you the labels, and still surprise you— so that is what I aim to do. Naked, but unafraid, online and in real life. I’m bearing it all and showing my progress.
So, here are my true, honest, and unfiltered results. Just, please, try not to believe them.
About the Author:
Bradley Andrews is a hopeful rabble-rouser on a mission to inspire the world. Stay in touch with what he’s doing by subscribing to a weekly digest of his activity through micro.blog. This will send you writing, photos, and other curiosities that you are guaranteed to love.
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